Sunday, November 4, 2012

Ten ways to tell if your man might be kinky

I was talking to a friend, who shall remain anonymous, and I was asking him about BDSM. He mentioned he didn't know if he was interested in it or not because he'd never been exposed to it. After my brain exploded with all the fun ways to introduce someone to BDSM (he's just a friend, but hey, I can fantasize), I started thinking about how, if you were in a new relationship, you might be able to figure out if your new man might be kinky. This is going to be a partially serious post, with a few tongue-in-cheek things thrown in, because it's been a long day and I have to entertain myself some way.

How to tell if your man might be kinky (or at least open to a discussion about it):

  1. You've noticed him spending a lot of time staring at your ass with his palm twitching.
  2. He doesn't hide that he watches porn.
  3. He owns some sort of sex toy or toys, even so-called tame ones.
  4. You climb on top and grab his hands, pulling them over his head, and he doesn't freak out.
  5. During doggy-style sex, he slaps your ass.
  6. He seems comfortable with dirty talk, especially dirty talk from you.
  7. When you mention him backing you into the wall/watching you in the mirror/etc, he grins, rather than apologizing.
  8. He owns or has at least seen and not been disgusted by movies like Secretary, 9 1/2 Weeks...
  9. You come home one day to find your ereader loaded with erotic romance, because he's figured out if you're horny it might be to his benefit.
  10. When you tell him a story about a friend of yours having sex with her boyfriend in some at least semi-public place, he thinks it's hot rather than that they should've been arrested.
How else can you tell if a man might be kinky? Give us more suggestions in the comments!
-- Cassandra

By the way, I've got some BDSM books coming out soon! Master Class is releasing on December 11th.

Here's the blurb:
Ryan Tomasi feels like a failure. His marriage is officially over; the ink dried on the divorce decree. His friend Jack introduces him to BDSM and he agrees to attend a Halloween party at a club. A submissive approaches him, offering herself, and how can he refuse the kneeling beauty? They do a whirlwind scene and Ryan is addicted—both to dominance and to her.

Lisette Rinaldo is returning to the BDSM club for the first time since ending a bad relationship with her former master. She spots Ryan and is taken by the combination of self-assurance and nervousness the man displays as he takes in his surroundings. And after he gives her an incredible re-introduction to the lifestyle, she knows she needs to see the man again.

Ryan and Lisette explore each other and the lifestyle, but what started out as playtime quickly evolves into something more. The problem? Ryan isn’t ready to get serious again and Lisette doesn’t want to fall in love with a guy who can’t give all of himself to her. Both of them are going to have to break out of the bonds holding them back from happiness.

And Unexpected Top is coming out on January 18, 2013.

Here's the blurb:
Sometimes a wife has to go to extreme measures to save her marriage. When Cissy Holden doesn't feel appreciated, she takes matters into her own hands--literally--and introduces her wayward husband Len to the concept of a Female-Led Relationship (FLR). Will Len be on board with FLR, or has Cissy just made the biggest mistake of her life?


  1. When he removes his belt while undressing each evening, if he routinely doubles it and slaps his palm with it, he might be kinky.


    1. I knew I could count on you, Gearjammer! Awesome. ;-)

  2. When the power is out and he starts playing with the hot candle wax, grins and says, "this could be fun." LOL Great post!

    1. Another very perceptive entry! Thanks for reading!

  3. When he enjoys a little teeth and nails in the bedroom.


    Thanks for the post. Looking forward to the new releases!

    1. Who wouldn't enjoy a little teeth and nails in the bedroom? *shifty eyes*

      I hope you like the books!

  4. So far my husband doesn't score on any of those points. :( I drop hints here and there but he is just not responding to any of them. :( Oh well I at least I have my books to allow me to indulge in my fantasies. :)

  5. - If he holds the back of your neck firmly while kissing you...
    - If he wants you to have long hair - so he can pull it...
    - If he spends more time on Fetlife than Facebook
    - If he picks up random things while shopping - and smacks you with them
    - If he likes leaving marks on your body
    - If he has his own toy bag
    - Rope, chains, duct tape on the headboard or nightstand

  6. When you bend over to pick something up and get smacked on the butt. Every time......look up and see if he is smiling. (My hubby usually is)