Friday, May 24, 2013

Real-life poly menages: not all about the sexy.

"Oh, you're so lucky to have a Hubby and a Sir!"

*snort*

I hear that one a lot. No, I'm not kvetching, believe me, but I think people form an unrealistic view of a real-life poly relationship based on what they read. It's not a fraction as sexy as in the books. LOL

For starters, Sir and I are, first and foremost, devoted to our spouses and our marriages. Those always come first, including all the real-world ups and downs. And we're both very busy people. He has an incredibly demanding, high-stress job, and works a lot of hours. I'm a self-employed workaholic writer who works a lot of hours.

Starting to form a picture yet? LOL

I'd say it's safe to estimate that 90% of our relationship has nothing to do with sex. And that's a LOW estimate. It might be closer to 95%. We're friends first and foremost. And yes, we do love each other. If we didn't, we probably would have killed each other by now. LOL Over 75% of our relationship happens via text messages or email, because of our schedules. And the time we spend together, a lot of it is usually in a vanilla context (we shoot skeet once a week with friends, and He might stop by for dinner one night a week and we sit in front of the TV and just talk).

Still jealous? LOL

We have to juggle schedules, and how we feel (He is prone to migraines, I have fibro) and then, once or twice a month, we might be able to fit in some sexy/kinky time.

If we're lucky. LOL

Am I complaining? No, of course not. But if you write about that in a romance book, you won't sell many copies, will you? LOL

In the more than three years since Sir and I have been playing together, I can count on one hand with fingers left over how many times it's been a "menage" situation with Him and Hubby. And even then, that was more a scene with both of them topping me than it was "sexy time."

Again, I'm not complaining.

Here's the thing, we both have spouses who love us and trust us (key point) and know we have our priorities straight. They also understand we have interests that they don't have (kinky and vanilla). Instead of trying to force themselves to do what they don't like to do, they give us permission to go do them without them (again, kinky and vanilla both) and understand that when we come home, we come home happier, meaning our marriages are stronger in the long run for it. Meaning THEY (our spouses) are happier in the long run, because they are also free to pursue what they want without guilt of them holding us back, or resentment at forcing themselves to go along with us.

Make sense?

So yes, it's fun to write about all this wild and crazy smexy time with characters, but don't think everything I write is a reflection of what my sex life is like. LOL Because, believe me, in that regard, I'm pretty boring. :)

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Tymber Dalton has a new release out today: Triple Trouble 5 - Out of Smoke and Ashes

http://www.bookstrand.com/out-of-smoke-and-ashes

Blurb:

Get books 1 and 2 in the Placida Pod series for $2.75 each when you purchase Out of Smoke and Ashes! All items must be in the cart at the same time when completing the transaction to apply this special offer.

[Siren Ménage Everlasting: Erotic Paranormal Ménage a Quatre Romance, M/F/M/M, shape-shifters, sex in shifted form, consensual BDSM between secondary M/F characters, HEA]

Elain Pardie’s wedding is interrupted when her matron of honor, Lina, goes into labor. Unfortunately, events spiral downhill from there for the Lyalls and their kin when an old foe refuses to roll over and play dead. As everyone suspected, Rodolfo Abernathy won’t give up.

What Abernathy doesn’t know is he’s become more prey than predator. Shifters with grudges of their own enter the fight with their sights set on Abernathy’s downfall.

When the fur hits the fan, it won’t be pretty.

While Elain and Lina struggle to cope with their new roles, various shifter Clans band together to fight their common enemies. Devastating heartaches are finally laid to rest as new love blossoms.

And Baba Yaga isn’t even done with them yet. Elain, Ain, Brodey, and Cail, along with their ever-growing band of friends and adopted family, must still confront those who’d gladly destroy all they love as evil and vengeance once again return from Out of Smoke and Ashes.

Note: There is no sexual relationship or touching for titillation between or among siblings.

A Siren Erotic Romance

Tymber Dalton is a Siren-exclusive author.

--

The correct order to read all of the Triple Trouble books and prequels is:

"Boiling Point" (Tasty Treats, Vol. 3)
Steam
Fire and Ice
Trouble Comes in Threes (Triple Trouble 1)
Storm Warning (Triple Trouble 2)
Three Dog Night (Triple Trouble 3)
Triple Dog Dare (Triple Trouble 4)
Out of Smoke and Ashes (Triple Trouble 5)


You can find all her Siren releases as Tymber Dalton, Lesli Richardson, Macy Largo, and Tessa Monroe on her Siren page at:

http://www.bookstrand.com/tymber-dalton

And you can find her on the web at:

http://tymberdalton.com
http://twitter.com/TymberDalton
http://facebook.com/tymberdalton
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/TymberDalton_updates/
https://plus.google.com/118382222849341409443/


4 comments:

  1. I am sure that in a lot of situations, fantasy often ends up being better than real life. In our fantasies, there are no pain, we are more flexible, and everything can be toned and tighened, lol :) Plus, there are no piles of laundry or housework that needs to be done, or any of the other daily stresses that interfer with personal time :)

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  2. Cheryl Ann KruegerMay 25, 2013 at 12:44 PM

    Of course realizing that we are reading fiction has to come into account, fantasies are just that. What I ment when I said I was jealous wasn't the sex, it was the closeness that you share with two men, I'm jealous of that and yes even the arguements and all that goes along with it. When you are single and have no one and want someone, but is terrified of it, of course I'm jealous. You are a lucky woman in that retrospect, I'm well aware of how the real world works and what happens in real life. But still jealous of feeling love from two men. That's all. *hanging head*

    ReplyDelete
  3. LOL Don't worry, Cheryl, I hear the "jealous" comment a lot from quite a few people.

    ReplyDelete