Perspective

A short one from me today. It's been a rough couple of months around our household, for all of us. In November, a dear friend of ours, and someone who was a mentor for me, as well as a Dominant and play partner to Sir, was diagnosed with brain cancer. We spent the next two months helpless, watching her slip away from us more every day until she mercifully gave in on New Year's morning.

I'm still processing my grief and emotions from all of it. It was a valuable reminder, however, to tell the people you love how much they mean to you, now, because you never know what will happen later. It was a reminder to me that life is short and precious, and that sometimes we need to make hard decisions to let go of situations that are negative and focus only on the positive, the people and activities that give us joy, rather than trying to change the negative and the energy-suckers. Follow your heart and your dreams. Give thanks every day to the Universe for the positives in your life and focus on them and not the negatives.

Sometimes hard to implement, but I'm trying my best.

(Tymber Dalton is an award-winning, bestselling author of books such as "The Reluctant Dom" and others. Her website is http://www.tymberdalton.com)

Back Away or Barrel Over your TRIGGERS?

A recent chat with readers got me thinking about triggers. As some of you know, some of my books bring people to an uncomfortable place. Those looking for sweetness and fluffiness are probably better off looking elsewhere, but those looking for a story that will drag them in and force them to love and hate and suffer with the characters . . .

But are you willing to suffer with the characters? We all have places in our minds, full of dark memories, things we've buried so we can move on. Some of us avoid anything that will bring these things closer to the surface. Some of us go out looking for ways to make the experience mean less.

Neither way is wrong. Sure, there are probably some shrinks that would tell you to 'face things' or 'get over them'. Others might tell you to find a safe place in your mind to escape from reactions to wounds that will never heal. Whatever way you chose, whatever way gets you through the days, is the right one for you.

That said, how do you handle triggers? Do you have any?

To be fair, I'll answer first. I didn't think I had triggers. I thought I'd numbed myself to all the stuff that might bring up bad memories.  And that's the only way to hit a trigger, right?

Wrong.

Apparently I have a serious problem with trust being given and then exploited. Which seems pretty reasonable--only, I don't put down books. I never walk away from them unless I lose interest (which happens fairly often because my attention span sucks! Oh! Look at the kittie!). But this one book had a bound sub pleading with a man she loved and trusted not to touch her with the knife. He not only ignored her, he CUT her! Every muscle in my body tensed up. I growled--yes, literally growled--at the book and couldn't look at it anymore. HOW DARE HE! Give me a villain any day and he can skin a character without me doing more than wince and read faster to get to the revenge part, but the hero better be heroic.

So there's one big one. I also have an issue with halfway menages, which isn't as serious, but will have a serious impact on my enjoyment of a book.

I'd love to hear about your experiences!

31 Flavors - release date Feb 14th

by Cari Silverwood

I've teamed up with bestselling author Leia Shaw to write a contemporary BDSM romance. This is based on a true story and we owe this person a big Thank You for letting us fictionalize a part of their life. Due to be released for ereaders on Valentine's Day, February 14th.

The cover became a story all on its own as Leia convinced a best friend to pose tied up, in her underwear. We really could not find a stock photo that suited us and look how it turned out! Wonderful, I am in awe of the photographic and artistic skills of Leia and her husband.

Here's a glimpse of what it's all about:

There are some things in life you have to try before you know how they will affect you.

After 5 years of awful sex, I was ready. Bondage and spanking had always featured in my fantasies, and one day, I convinced my husband to try them. That day was a turning point.

Ice cream comes in many flavors and that’s us too -- not vanilla, maybe not Rocky Road either. We can be a combination or make up our own and no one has the right to judge us.

But there will always be one question that tears at my soul: Will my husband, Nick, ever be happy with what I crave?

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Intrigued? Wait until you read it. Angst, sex and great humor - but then, that's real life isn't it? Much of what we do is crazy fun, whether it's going for a job interview, drinking too much at the family BBQ, or tying our partner in knots.

My website: http://www.carisilverwood.net/

Go here for a giveaway of my books until

Saturday 7th http://kinkybookreviews.com/wordpress/guest-cari-silverwood/

And Leia Shaw's http://www.leiashaw.com/