BDSM 101: Puppy/pony/kitten play

One of the things I see a lot of in the BDSM world is puppy/pony play. (This isn't limited strictly to puppies and ponies, because I know people who are also cats/kittens, wolves, dragons, or some mythical creature they dreamed up.)

Let's get this right out of the way up front: "animal play" in the BDSM world does NOT involve real animals. It is PEOPLE getting geared up (from bare minimum costumes to full-on furry) and acting like an animal. Also, please don't comment saying, "Well, that's not how I do it!" because I'm not trying to define everyone involved in these activities, just give those who know nothing about the subject a basic primer.

I am involved in puppy play both as a Top and a bottom. (I started out as a Top and was eased into it as a bottom by my friend who I switch with.) He is also a pony, and while I haven't done a lot of that yet, it's something I'm also interested in.

People involved in puppy play range in scale from just goofing around and having a little fun, all the way to the far end of the spectrum of gay leather pups who are into strict disciplinarian scenes, and everything in between. Pony players tend to be a little more involved in it simply because the gear tends to be more complex. Sometimes there is a sexual element to the play, sometimes not. It all depends on the players and their relationships.

Two years ago at a fetish convention, I spent a couple of hours walking the vendor floor with my friend, who was in full pup gear, leading him around on a leash. He wore a backpack containing my purse and other things, and when I wanted to shop, I'd give him a hand command and he'd drop to his knees so I could get to the backpack. I'd stand on his leash, just as I would a real dog (I used to raise and train service dog puppies), and give him praise or leash corrections depending on his behavior. He was, for the most part, treated exactly like a dog.

In his case, he enjoys many aspects of puppy play, but he wanted a "full immersion" experience. The process of being de-humanized, treated as a dog, literally (not mistreated, mind you), and there to do nothing but serve me as a loyal "service dog." In other circumstances, he also enjoys it when impact play and bondage/restraint are mixed in with the puppy play, both as a top and a bottom.

I've seen people involved in puppy play who do nothing but the fluffy end of play, as I call it, and literally just chase toys around and get pats on the head and belly rubs, with no discipline or humiliation at all involved in the play.

Now, don't confuse pet players with furries. While some people are both, if you assume someone who is a furry is also into BDSM, they might likely correct you. A furry is someone who usually enjoys dressing up in a full-body costume of their choice of character, similar to the ones sports mascots wear. Some pet players have costumes that elaborate, but not all do.

Here are a few links you can check out about pet play.

Woof! *puppywiggles*

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Animal_roleplay#BDSM_Puppy_Play 
http://www.laponiesandcritters.com/ 
http://nepups.org/drupal/node/14 
http://puppyplaypride.com/ 
http://tribes.tribe.net/puppypile

Tymber Dalton is a bestselling author of erotica and erotic romance. She is a BDSM lifestyle switch. Her website is: http://tymberdalton.com

What is BDSM - the basics explained.

So, what exactly is BDSM? I know a lot of people who are unfamiliar with BDSM tend to lump practitioners in with swingers, sex fiends, perverts, and the like.

Okay, so maybe there are a few people who are all of those and into BDSM as well. But let’s start with the basics.

BDSM is an overlapping, catch-all term that stands for

*Bondage &Domination

*Domination & submission

*Sadism & masochism

It is better to refer to BDSM as "WIITWD" (What It Is That We Do) because there are SOOOO many people lumped under the BDSM "umbrella" that technically don't fall under what is typically perceived as the BDSM lable. Just because someone's kinky doesn't mean they're a sadomasochist or into D/s play.

There are people who enjoy bondage play but no pain. There are people who are into the D/s (Dominance/submission) dynamic, but not into bondage or pain. There are people into pain play who aren't into D/s or bondage.

And every possibly conceivable permutation inbetween, including many you've probably never even thought of.

Also, don't think that just because someone is into kink of any kind that they mix their sexuality in with it. Some do, but some don't. I know players in the scene who are only into strict scenes that don't involve sex play at all.

There are people who are engaged in "pet play," which is where they basically act like an animal. Puppy and pony play are two of the most common. There are kittens and all sorts of fantastical animals as well. This is not necessarily the same thing as "furries" who enjoy full costumes. Just because a person is into one thing doesn't mean they're into another.

There are "spankos" who enjoy being spanked. Spanking parties are frequently a totally different, loose and laid-back atmosphere than that of a high-protocol dungeon where people might also get spanked. Some spankos are into BDSM, some aren't.

There are people who consider themselves "service submissives/slaves" where they want to be used for tasks like housework, but not sexually or for impact play.

There are people who are swingers or poly (or who are both) who are into BDSM, and there are monogamous couples/singles who are into BDSM.

In other words, don't go by what you see on the internet. The best way to meet people in the lifestyle is to attend a local function, like a Munch, where people get together in a vanilla setting to eat and chat. You can find people in your area on the website http://fetlife.com

And don't go to one BDSM party or dungeon and assume everyone plays like you witnessed. What people do varies as widely as there are people involved in the lifestyle. How traditional gay Leathermen might play may differ drastically than a husband and wife who only use BDSM to spice things up in the bedroom every once in a while.

I cover all this and more in my e-book "Whip Me, Beat Me, Make Me Write Hot Sex," which is available from Captiva Press, Amazon.com, for the nook, and in other online retailers.

Tymber Dalton (who also writes as Lesli Richardson, Tessa Monroe, and Macy Largo) is a bestselling author, who is also a BDSM lifestyle switch. Her website is http://tymberdalton.com