What's a kink?

If you're a regular reader of this blog, you probably think you know what a kink is. But do you really? How about a fetish, for that matter? Is there a difference?

According to the website BDSM Cafe (http://bdsmcafe.com/resource/glossary/gloss-x.html) there is a difference. But what is it?

From the KinkForAll website:

The words "kink" or "kinky" are ambiguous, lending themselves to an inclusive and open environment. They also specifically refer to non-mainstream, unconventional or unusual sexuality. Since some people reflexively associate "kink" with specific ideas (but not necessarily the same ideas), here are various definitions of the word from several sources: 

• The Princeton online dictionary defines "kink" as "unusual sexual tastes."

• The Random House Dictionary on Dictionary.com defines "kink" as "unconventional sexual preferences or behavior[…]." 

• Wikipedia defines "kink" as "a term used to refer to a playful usage of sexual concepts[…]."

• Some of the many definitions of "kink" on UrbanDictionary.com:

• "sexual priority known as being very subjective, and suceptible to be misunderstood or stereotyped by others" [sic.]

• "Doing in bed what others only think about." 

• "wierd/cool, usually in respect to sex"

• "something which is abnormal but good in a sexual way" 

So where does that leave us? With a lot of questions, that's where! Let's see if we can answer some:

1. Am I kinky?

Probably, yes. Perhaps not to the extent of practitioners of the BDSM lifestyle, but if you enjoy being blindfolded in bed, having your hair pulled, or getting an occasional smack on the ass during sex, you're at least a little bit kinky.

2. Should I tell potential bed partners I'm kinky?

Entirely up to you. I'd say if your level of kink leans more toward the stuff in the first answer, probably not necessary. But if you plan to show up for sex in a Chewbacca costume, yeah, that's something your potential lover might want to be aware of.

3. How do I get someone to become kinky?

Oh, boy. The million dollar question. Personally, I don't think you can force someone to be kinky or do kinky things. It seems like that would create tension in a relationship. Some people just aren't cut out for it, no matter how mild you think what you're asking them to do is. On the other hand, if you start small and work your way up, paying attention to their reactions to things you ask for or do to them, I believe there are people who will open their minds to more adventuresome activities.

4. Is what I like kink or a fetish?

According to BDSM cafe, a fetish is a fixation, usually sexual, on an activity or object. I think the important word here is fixation. Kinksters like to do some things vanilla people don't, but people with fetishes can become obsessed by them.


Are things less ambiguous now? Did you learn anything? ;-)

Take a look at the five-star review my latest BDSM book, Unexpected Top, just got from Long and Short Reivews: http://www.longandshortreviews.com/book-reviews/unexpected-top-by-cassandra-carr/

For more about me or my books, visit my website at http://www.booksbycassandracarr.com.

Some basics for those of you who are new around here...

In the past we've done some "BDSM for Beginners" posts, but I don't remember seeing one in a while, so I thought I'd do one for those of you who haven't been with us as long. First, for a HUGE list of terms related to BDSM, this is a great site: http://bdsmcafe.com/resource/glossary/gloss-x.html.

Now, for furniture -- if you're going to go that far -- The Stockroom is a good place to start. Besides furniture, they have tons of other stuff too, but I found their explanations of the different apparatuses to be straightforward and easy to understand: http://www.stockroom.com

Implements. If you're going to do BDSM, you'll need some type of implements. Whether you're doing impact play, sensation play or something else, don't go buying any old thing. Buy quality. How do you know the products are quality? When they come from places like: http://www.cane-iac.com or http://www.thelondontanners.com (for those kinksters in the UK or people who don't mind paying higher shipping costs for quality goods.

And clothing...sure, you can wear whatever you want. It's not like the BDSM police are going to come and take away your kinkster card if you play in sweats and a tank top. But sometimes it's fun to get dressed up, especially if you like things like role playing. Since there are TONS of places to buy clothing you can use in BDSM play, I'm not going to list any here. But I will say this. Make sure it fits, it's not cutting circulation, and that you're not allergic to it. You laugh, but there's a lot of latex out there in the kink world.

A word about bondage, which is one common place start to explore kink. Sure, you can buy a pair of fuzzy handcuffs at your local sex shop and go for it, but you're going to tie up your submissive, you should definitely check out Two Knotty Boys at http://www.beknotty.com/wiki/index.php?title=FAQ_about_Rope_By_Dan_of_the_Two_Knotty_Boys. They'll tell you what you need to know about bondage so you don't hurt anybody.

Reading. It's not a bad idea to read some books before you really get into this lifestyle. A few good ones are SM 101 by Jay Wiseman and The Loving Dominant by John and Libby Warren. Both can be found on Amazon. etc.

Lastly, join FetLife - but be careful. http://www.fetlife.com

--Cassandra

Inside the mind of a submissive man

When I asked for topics you guys wanted to see on this blog, one that came up was how a submissive man thinks/feels, etc. I thought that would be fascinating, and a friend offered to ask two of her friends who are submissive (at times -one is actually a switch) a bunch of questions. Here are the questions and the guys' answers. I want to thank both of them for their incredible candor and insight.

1. It seems like many people envision women being submissive and men being dominant. You're a male submissive. What do you think sets you apart from men who are dominant?

ANSWER: As a switch who bottoms/subs to women, I think what sets me apart from a male dominant is a willingness to accept that I don't have to be in control all the time. The times I can take control and work my will on someone are great, but that doesn't have to be all the time for me. I can give the drivers seat over and feel fine about it, in certain instances.

ANSWER: First off, I do not consider myself a "male submissive". Beyond my parents (and we have all submitted to 'them" at one time or another) I have never submitted to anyone but my one and only Mistress. I have long lived as the god of my own universe, captain of the ship of me, and as such have never sought out anyone to take over those duties and responsibilities. Yet, since the age of 8 or so, I've had sexually charged fantasies about being overwhelmed by bossy, arrogant, dominant women. 
I kept that side of myself hid for so many years, and finally had to experience it so I could keep growing as a person. I met the woman who became my Mistress my first night at a club, and we soon fell in love, and decided to form a life together. She is the only one I ever submit to, so that is an exception in my life, and remains so. I should add that my sub-ness is entirely connected to sex, and sexual energy for me. So I am very much a role player who ended up in a 24/7 D/S relationship cuz of love. 
Recently I have discovered I am a switch. A girl I know and am close to inspires this side of me, and for the first time I have been truly experimenting with being dominant, and am enjoying its reality in myself. Does this mean I am now a Dominant male? No, the fact that I do it with one person does not warrant such a broad all-encompassing term, the same way submitting to one person does not warrant calling myself "submissive". I can go to these places when the chemistry is right with the right people. 
As for a difference between myself and dominant males - my experience so far has shown me that many who identify as dominant often live with the frustration of feeling relatively impotent in other areas, disrespected, weak, having to eat other people's shit, etc. They turn to others who desire to be, or identify as submissive to help work thru these issues, and to feel a kind of power over another human being they rarely if ever can get anywhere else. So the distinguishing quality is not being dominant per se, but the NEED to feel, and be, dominant.
Many who identify as submissive, on the other hand (and this characterizes how I see myself, too) feel very much in control of their daily lives, exercise direction, responsibility, even authority, and therefore want to feel the voluptuous pleasure of laying that down, giving it to another (power exchange) and feeling it turned upon them. 
A supreme form of general confidence allows me to overcome any fear that might stand in the way of me doing this - giving power to another person. In this case, my Mistress. In a nutshell, submissives to me often seem more relaxed and confident in a general sense than many dominants, who are often concerned with questions of power and perception and having to live up to an ideal.

2. Are there differences you can see between male and female submissives?

ANSWER: Not many. Submission is a mindset, not something that I've seen be defined more by gender. Generally, I'd say the type of play the submissive can endure, but that's not true either, because I've seen some female bottoms take beatings that some male bottoms would safe word out of right damn quick.

ANSWER: Not really, aside from societal prejudices, i.e. the way they might be treated. I know some female submissives that prefer this dynamic in any and every relationship they have, whereas all males I know who identify with the S side want it only with particular women, and are fine with being switchy or dominant in other contexts. This is just my experience so far, tho.

3. What is your favorite part of being a male submissive?

ANSWER: Knowing that, when I'm in a submissive space, someone is taking care of me, and I am making her happy because of that. Whatever that entails.

ANSWER: The sex. More specifically, the power of the play and the sex, especially when in the context of a 24/7 dynamic (and no one, male or female / dominant or submissive, can be one thing All the time) I could also say the joy of being with and serving a wonderful woman I love and admire, but I would feel that way even without the D/S. I like doing things for the ones I love, and that's not always a "submissive" thing, rather a Love and "I'm good at this particular thing" thang.

4. Do you ever encounter any negativity from people in the lifestyle because you're submissive? What about if someone who's not in the lifestyle finds out?

ANSWER: Not really, mainly because I try to avoid people who make instant judgments about a person based on their role in the lifestyle. It would be like hanging around someone who thought all Doms are arrogant assholes, or someone who thought all switches were slutty tourists. As for outside the scene, I am very private with my lifestyle. Almost no one outside the scene knows what I do or how I do it, in that regard. If someone were to find out, I think they would be more focused on WHAT I was doing (BDSM) rather than HOW I was doing it.

ANSWER: I never do, probably because I carry myself well, I'm physically big and seem imposing to some, and I'm very comfortable in myself. It just never seems to be a problem. Plus most people know and respect my Mistress as well, so it has always worked out smoothly social-ness wise. And plenty of others I know outside of the lifestyle have found out, and they have all expressed surprise that I would be submissive in this. I apparently come across quite the opposite. And that's no surprise per answer #1.

5. What kind of dominant woman turns you on the most? What turns you off?

ANSWER: Confidence, and the knowledge they can handle me when I bottom. I get very...primal when I bottom hard, and I don't bottom unless I'm going to go hard. Those are the main turn-ons for me. Turn-off...arrogance. Someone who thinks their shit doesn't stink is going to put me off right away.

ANSWER: My favorite kind of dominant woman is usually large breasted, even full figured, and can even have all the symbols of "bad girl-ness", i.e. tats and piercings, smokes, biker chick, possibly dangerous, hint of ex-con, proud to be physically hot white trash yet also cunning and ruthless. Let's go beyond the cosmetics and fantasy. My favorite kind of dominant woman is in control of her evil. How? She also has a big heart and a brain. 

She is also comfortable in her own skin and sexuality, and has found her sadism and dominance as a natural energy within her. The kind I don't like? Those that (like bad male dominants, too!) posture too much, all bombast and ego to cover up the fact that they haven't actually found it within themselves yet, and are trying too hard to SEEM dominant and commanding. With them I only see the inexperience, inauthenticity, the act. Give em time maybe they will find it later. Maybe not.

Truly, truly interesting stuff, don't you think? Again, I want to thank both of these men for taking the time to give detailed, insightful answers to my inquiries. I'd love to hear what you think of their answers and any experiences you've had, either as a male submissive, or dealing with a male submissive.

Ten ways to tell if your man might be kinky

I was talking to a friend, who shall remain anonymous, and I was asking him about BDSM. He mentioned he didn't know if he was interested in it or not because he'd never been exposed to it. After my brain exploded with all the fun ways to introduce someone to BDSM (he's just a friend, but hey, I can fantasize), I started thinking about how, if you were in a new relationship, you might be able to figure out if your new man might be kinky. This is going to be a partially serious post, with a few tongue-in-cheek things thrown in, because it's been a long day and I have to entertain myself some way.

How to tell if your man might be kinky (or at least open to a discussion about it):

1. You've noticed him spending a lot of time staring at your ass with his palm twitching.
2. He doesn't hide that he watches porn.
3. He owns some sort of sex toy or toys, even so-called tame ones.
4. You climb on top and grab his hands, pulling them over his head, and he doesn't freak out.
5. During doggy-style sex, he slaps your ass.
6. He seems comfortable with dirty talk, especially dirty talk from you.
7. When you mention him backing you into the wall/watching you in the mirror/etc, he grins, rather than apologizing.
8. He owns or has at least seen and not been disgusted by movies like Secretary, 9 1/2 Weeks...
9. You come home one day to find your ereader loaded with erotic romance, because he's figured out if you're horny it might be to his benefit.
10. When you tell him a story about a friend of yours having sex with her boyfriend in some at least semi-public place, he thinks it's hot rather than that they should've been arrested.

How else can you tell if a man might be kinky? Give us more suggestions in the comments!

-- Cassandra

http://www.booksbycassandracarr.com

By the way, I've got some BDSM books coming out soon! Master Class is releasing on December 11th.

Here's the blurb:

Ryan Tomasi feels like a failure. His marriage is officially over; the ink dried on the divorce decree. His friend Jack introduces him to BDSM and he agrees to attend a Halloween party at a club. A submissive approaches him, offering herself, and how can he refuse the kneeling beauty? They do a whirlwind scene and Ryan is addicted—both to dominance and to her.

Lisette Rinaldo is returning to the BDSM club for the first time since ending a bad relationship with her former master. She spots Ryan and is taken by the combination of self-assurance and nervousness the man displays as he takes in his surroundings. And after he gives her an incredible re-introduction to the lifestyle, she knows she needs to see the man again.

Ryan and Lisette explore each other and the lifestyle, but what started out as playtime quickly evolves into something more. The problem? Ryan isn’t ready to get serious again and Lisette doesn’t want to fall in love with a guy who can’t give all of himself to her. Both of them are going to have to break out of the bonds holding them back from happiness.

And Unexpected Top is coming out on January 18, 2013.

Here's the blurb:

Sometimes a wife has to go to extreme measures to save her marriage. When Cissy Holden doesn't feel appreciated, she takes matters into her own hands--literally--and introduces her wayward husband Len to the concept of a Female-Led Relationship (FLR). Will Len be on board with FLR, or has Cissy just made the biggest mistake of her life?

Balancing a BDSM relationship when you're in public

One of my Twitter followers suggested this topic, and I thought it was a great one. I love that I can always count on my followers to give me plenty of fodder for this blog! By the way, for the sake of simplicity I'm gong to use a female sub and a male Dom, although we all know there are all sorts of variations as to who is submissive and who is dominant.

My follower's questions were, "How can you balance a BDSM relationship with being in public? For instance, how do you stealthily show your relationship without being obvious?"

Some excellent questions. Overall, I think it comes down to how, as a submissive, you treat your Dominant, and the other way around. Respect on both sides is important, not just from the submissive to the Dom. Also, there are a lot of rules that work as well in public as they do in the privacy of home, like how to dress, what the submissive is not allowed to eat, etc. Simply abiding by these rules, even when in public, is in keeping with your BDSM relationship.

You don't have to use a collar
like this all the time, you know...
Creative Commons Andre SC - 
http://www.flickr.com/photos/57926608@N00/ 

As far as the treatment/respect thing goes, a service submissive can still serve her Master no matter where they are. At a party? Maybe the sub can make sure the Dom's drink is never empty, or that he always has someone to talk to. Maybe the sub could watch for signs of fatigue and make sure the Dom sits, or the sub can rub his shoulders.

More overt signs of a BDSM relationship, but ones that can still be subtle, are collars that don't look like collars. Any piece of jewelry, or even a tattoo or the life, can be a collar. It's all in what it means to the sub and her Dom. You don't have to have a ten-pound padlock on the collar for it to be called a collar. Even a string of pearls or a diamond ring can be a collar.

I'm sure there are more ways to signify or honor a BDSM relationship in public, but these are just a few. What other methods can you think of? Feel free to tell me in the comments.

-- Cassandra
http://www.booksbycassandracarr.com

Poly, swinging, open, or...?

There are plenty of misconceptions in the "vanilla" world about WIITWD (what it is that we do) in the BDSM/kink community. One of those misconceptions is that everyone is a sex fiend and sleeping with everyone else willy-nilly.

Nope.

Now, not to say some people don't do that, but as with all populations, there will always be exceptions to the rule.

There are terms tossed around without people seeming to understand what they mean. So let me take a moment for clarification.

When someone says they are "poly," meaning polyamorous, it doesn't necessarily mean they are swingers or have an open marriage.

When someone says they're a "swinger," it doesn't mean they're poly or have an open relationship.

When someone says they have an "open relationship," it doesn't mean they're a swinger or poly.

Or it could mean any or only some of all of the above apply.

The terms are not mutually exclusive, but while sometimes, yes, some people do consider themselves under more than one umbrella, I'm going to discuss the basic differences in them. YMMV.

"Poly" generally means there are established rules or codes of conduct. There isn't any sneaking around behind the other partners' backs. Everyone is on board with what happens. This might mean a "closed" poly group of three or more people, yes, like the menages you read about in fiction, or it might mean one person has more than one partner, but they are committed partners, either permanently or "monogamously" within the confines of the poly group.

For example, in my life, I am in a poly "N" configuration. I am married to Hubby, Sir is married to His wife. Only Sir and I are involved with each other (hence the diagonal on the N), although sometimes Sir and Hubby both top me. The four of us are monogamous within our "pack" as we like to call it. (As in wolf pack.) Occasionally, I will top a male friend of Sir's for play only, but when I do it's usually in an instructional way to show the friend's wife how to use implements.

We are not swingers. We are not "swappers." We are not "open." My primary relationship is Hubby, Sir's primary relationship is His wife. Sir and I are secondary partners to each other.

Poly configurations and rules are as varied as the people in the relationships. We are just one small example of how it can be done.

Swingers are commonly members of clubs or groups (but NO, NOT always) of fellow swingers. They get together for parties or whatnot and have fun as they desire. Not everyone gets lucky at swingers events. People might or might not "swing" outside of their primary relationship on other occasions. Some people only do it within the context of an event or gathering, some have regular partners they swing with.

An "open" relationship is one where members are free, within certain boundaries usually, to seek out other relationships. Sometimes just for sex or fun, sometimes for secondary relationships. Again, it depends on the people.

As I said, these can cross-pollinate (no pun intended, seriously LOL). People can be more than one label. These are just generalities.

Then you have people who consider themselves monogamous, but they might have BDSM playpartners with any level of sexual-type play. To the novice, it might look like sex. But the participants might not consider it sex (for example, orgasm play) and consider themselves monogamous.

Hope that helped clarify things and didn't muddy the water for you. :)

So what are your thoughts on polyamory, swinging, and open relationships?

(Tymber Dalton is a bestselling erotic romance author involved in a poly-N dynamic and is a BDSM switch. You can find her Siren-BookStrand releases HERE, and her website is http://tymberdalton.com)

All about collaring...

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

BDSM- it doesn't have to be serious all the time

Welcome to another day in the BDSM Authors Playroom Blog Hop! I hope you're having as much fun as we are! Today I'm here to talk about a subject that doesn't seem to get much play (heh) in the BDSM community--even though we ALWAYS recommend your play is safe, sane, and consensual, that doesn't mean it always has to be serious. You can have fun with BDSM.

What do I mean? Well, let's think about this...

One thing I want to make clear before I start. I am not making fun of anyone else's choices. What gets you revved up is your business and nobody else's.

With that out of the way...let's start with puppy and pony play. There are many people who take this very seriously, and some who use it for punishment, but many lifestylers do it because a person dressed up like a puppy or a pony is kinda cute and fun.

Then there are the "fun" spankings and other "reward" things. There are impression paddles that say "ouch" and panties that say "spank me". How about the feather ticklers Doms can use to torture ticklish subs? Or the Wartenburg wheel? You can also make a chocolate impression of a penis with a handy kit.

The point is...yes, BDSM should be taken seriously to make sure all parties are safe. But that doesn't mean you can't have a little--or a lot--of fun!

~~~

To further illustrate this point, here's a short excerpt from my holiday BDSM novella, Caught. Yes, as you can see below, you CAN marry the themes of the holidays and BDSM!

Sir came back into the room carrying a big pile of stuff and set it all down on the edge of the bed. Callie started to look down, but Sir said, “Uh-uh, eyes up.” Dutifully she raised her gaze until she was staring at the ceiling. Her arms were still above her head, and she heard him chuckle. “My perfect little submissive, already in position to be restrained.” Glancing at the headboard, she frowned. The leather wasn’t exactly conducive to bondage. “Don’t you worry, pet. I’ve got a plan.”

He began to unravel something from a package, but Callie couldn’t tell what it was, though it sounded kind of crinkly. He came to the head of the bed, and she saw he was holding a long length of gold garland. “Hands.” Eyebrow raised, she offered him her hands, and he tied them together. Sir went into the attached bath and came back with a towel, which he placed underneath her. Her eyebrow rose again, but Sir just gave her an enigmatic smile and left the room.

“Now where did he go?” she muttered.

Callie jumped when Sir answered. “Forgot something in the playroom.” He grinned down at her. “Didn’t hear me coming, did you?” He held up a contraption. “Spread those lovely thighs for me, baby.” She did, and he attached a leather cuff at about midthigh. A small spreader bar stretched between them. He ran the garland through the D bolts on each cuff, which basically formed a triangle of garland going from her hands to her legs. “Hmmm, that’s going to be too much pressure on your poor wrists,” he murmured. “Aha! An idea…” Sir left the room again, and Callie shook her head in amusement. She’d never seen this side of him—he was like a kid in a candy store.

~~~

Don't forget to go fill out the BDSM Unleashed Grand Prize Entry form below and leave a comment for your chance to win one of THREE great prizes, the first prize being a $100 gift card to the online bookstore of your choice! For even more chances to win, the list of participating blogs is HERE. 

GOOD LUCK!

To learn more about me and my books, visit my website http://www.booksbycassandracarr.com

Enter P

Real People Real BDSM - a little S/m and bondage can work wonders

The latest true story in our series.

By Arianna

I think I was probably born with an inclination toward BDSM. My first sexual fantasies involved bondage and discipline before I even knew what it meant. But I was brought up where abstinence was the only path. My mom had me when she was very young so she scared me away from boys and sex to keep me from making the same mistake. It worked (though I don't advocate it), but I went into marriage with very little knowledge of sex, and more importantly, what I like, need, and want.

I was a blushing virgin on our honeymoon. Sex started off bad right away. The stress and anticipation made it hurt even more. I wasn't turned on by the regular routine of vanilla sex. When I fantasized, it was always about BDSM though I didn't know it. As long as I can remember, I had an interesting relationship with pain. I didn't go out of my way to hurt myself, but when I did, it fascinated me. I was the kid that pushed on bruises, picked at scabs, laughed when I got hurt instead of crying. When my sexual fantasies started involving pain, domination, control, being tied up and helpless, I thought I was weird. A freak. Something was wrong with me for wanting these things. I didn't know anyone else like me. I didn't watch porn or read erotic books to know this was normal.

For six years I kept my fantasies secret, scared my husband would be disgusted by my desires. I was petrified he'd reject me. During that time, sex was a chore. An obligation I rarely enjoyed. Sometimes I even hated it. When we had kids, we pretty much stopped having sex all together. Though our marriage has always been strong, there was a big hole missing. One neither of us knew how to fix. I accepted the fact that we were sexually incompatible. He was formulaic and passive. I wanted aggressive and creative.

After our 6th year of marriage, I started reading erotic novels. I realized that I'm not actually a freak for wanting to be tied up. And not even for wanting to mix pain with pleasure. There were lots of people like me who had satisfying sex lives (with their spouses even!), but that I had to be open and honest about my needs. It was very, very hard to tell my husband. Again, we go back to fear of rejection.

How do you tell the person you love that you want to be tied down and spanked? It wasn't as if I was interviewing a sexual partner, or a dom. This was my husband. He was it. There were no other candidates if he thought it was crazy. So I did it in stages.

First, I felt him out a little by telling him about the books I was reading. I used the acronym BDSM then studied his face to see if he would flinch or grimace. I should've known he wouldn't. After years of barely getting any action, I think he would have agreed to anything at that point if it got me off. There's a strategy for those of you with reluctant partners. Deprivation! Okay, kidding. But he was VERY interested in what I was reading. He wanted to know what turned me on.

Remember, most men want to please their women. It's a big turn on for them to know they can get their woman going. You have to appeal to their ego. So I think he was hoping for some clues in what I was reading. So I asked him if he'd like to try some bondage. He said, with a big grin, "okay!"

Things happened relatively quickly after that. He saw how responsive I was to being tied up, which encouraged him to keep going.

Here's a tip. Eager spouses: give your reluctant ones lots of praise and positive reinforcement for doing things you like. It's like training a puppy. Then they know what to keep doing.

After a few bondage sessions, I got even braver and asked him to spank me. Impact play is a huge turn on for me but I wasn't sure he'd like the idea of hitting me. Again, I battled insecurity. Now would he think I was a freak? Most partners, even in vanilla relationships, will tie each others hands once in a while. But I wanted to take it a step further. I wanted him to hurt me. But when I told him it would turn me on, he agreed.

He started off too light, just a few swats here and there. But I needed more. Since I couldn't look him in the eye and say, "I want you to spank me till I'm writhing and yelping and my ass is bright red" (Lol!), I texted him instead.

Here's another tip. Men like dirty texts! I told him exactly what I wanted him to do to me, how hot it would make me, and appealed to his ego that he's da man! He followed my instructions (with a few small changes here and there) and, again, I made sure to tell him how awesome he is after (positive reinforcement!).

The impact play was a more difficult balance to find. Mixing pain with pleasure is a fine line. Figuring out just the right implement, strength, length took a little practice. Yes, he hit me too hard once with the belt and I had a very painful welt to show for it. But everyone is entitled to mistakes. We're still learning each other, but also ourselves. Now that we've been at it a little while, we've both been surprised to realize my husband is growing to love BDSM too. At first, he was just doing it for me. But now we've found a bit of a sadistic streak in him. Not to mention some very clear dom potential.

We've come a long way in these last several months of integrating BDSM into our life. I started off forming the scenes, taking control even though he was the top, or the one tying me up, etc. I said where, how, what implement, etc. This is called topping from the bottom. But it was okay with me because he needed the confidence and direction.

Now that he knows what I like, he's naturally started to take the lead more. And I'm (sometimes reluctantly) giving up control. We could probably still be classified as a top/bottom relationship, but I wonder if we'll end up dom/sub at some point down the road.

The good thing is we both have a sense of humor and don't take things too seriously. BDSM is different for every couple. We will always be playful about it (yes, even when he's smacking my ass for being mouthy), it's just the way we are. Wherever our journey takes us, we'll always be us. A silly, loving, affection couple of smart-asses.

My advice is similar to what everyone else here has said: communication and honesty. It's hard to put yourself out there. It's a huge risk. But, hopefully, the person you are asking to try this with loves you.

If so, they will accept this part of you. It won't happen over night. My husband and I had a few down and dirty talks where I'd end up in tears and he'd be frustrated, trying to understand why I needed this and what I got out of it. Remember, this is a give and take. All relationships require some amount of sacrifice. That goes for the sexual parts too. Especially when you add such specific extras.

BDSM encompasses a lot of stuff. No two people will like the same exact things. So if your partner is going along with your tastes, make sure you're going along with theirs too. I'll give you an example. I don't like talking dirty. It's uncomfortable and makes me feel kinda silly. But my husband loves it. He orders me to tell him in graphic terms what I want, and even though it's not my favorite thing, I do it because I know he loves it. I let him have that.

The most important tip I can give someone is DO NOT COMPARE! Your partner will never be like your fantasies, or like the books you read. Your scenes will not always be as smooth and perfect as what you read in books. We are not fictional characters. We are real and this is a journey of trial and error.

I saw a picture of a certain bondage position I wanted to try. I asked my husband to do it to me. It was extremely erotic and very hot and he loved it. Unfortunately it was the most uncomfortable position in the world and I lasted about 5 minutes before my fingers were going numb. I'll tell you, yelling, "ow! my fingers are numb, let me loose!" is not how I imagined this scene going. But we laughed and adjusted and kept going because that's real life. Trial and error.

Laugh at your mistakes - yes, even if your partner hits you too hard with the belt. Well, you might want to curse for a few seconds first. And don't forget your safeword. If you have a reluctant spouse, have patience. Accept where they're at, just as you want to be accepted. It's a journey. It can be exciting and fun and sexy and funny, but the important thing is you're doing it together.

As Ariana says -- Safe Sane and Consensual

Saying a safeword isn't always necessary if you and your partner understand each other well. But...play it safe if you aren't sure.

And my website -- but I write fiction so the above will give you a better idea of real BDSM :)

http://www.carisilverwood.net/

Friends first.

"Well, we've spent four days together doing nothing but working and haven't played once," Sir said with an exhausted smile. "That's like a record or something."

I laughed, because we were both sweaty and dirty and not in the fun way. With His help, a goodly chunk of our bathroom DIY remodel project was completed. Along with some other huge tasks that needed doing that we never would have gotten done without His help. See, He might be my Sir--ironically, He wanted to be more in submissive pup mode over the weekend--but we are first and foremost friends. Nothing else could have happened if He and His wife, and Hubby and myself, weren't all friends. We can all go do vanilla things like go out to dinner, see a movie, or even remodel a bathroom.

I think too many people run afoul in the BDSM world because they let their libido overrule their brain. (Not that this doesn't happen in vanilla-land, but it seems to happen even more in the kinky world.) Yes, I know a few people who have had successful long distance relationships blossom into real-life relationships, but most of the success stories I have personal knowledge of involved people being friends first and then developing their relationships.

I've talked about this before, because it all hinges on trust and respect. But do you honestly like someone, that's a key ingredient. Sure you can be attracted to them, lust for them, but when the whips are put away, when the 9-5 day job calls, can you talk to that person about vanilla stuff? Can you go traipsing across three counties in search of plumbing supplies for a sixty year-old house and have non-kinky stuff (or non-plumbing stuff) to talk about? Can you call that other person not Sir or Daddy or Master or whatever, but first and foremost your friend?

Hubby jokes that Sir and I are twins, and there's a bit of truth to that. We were friends first, with more than a little of a big brother/little sister dynamic. (Albeit teasing-yet-protective big brother and evil-yet-lovable little sister. LOL) If the play dynamic were to end right now, we would still be friends. We're a lot alike in many ways, we have many of the same interests, and we're different enough in all the same ways.

Oh wait, that's a lot like how Hubby and I are too. :) And we're been together over fourteen years now.

Let's face it, this is the same way you should approach any relationship, with friendship being the cornerstone of your dynamic, whether it's vanilla or kinky. Then let nature take its course from there. Don't be so eager to rush things that you lose sight of what you want--and deserve--in a relationship.

(Tymber Dalton is a bestselling author and lifestyle BDSM switch. Her website is http://www.tymberdalton.com )

Patience is a virtue.

One of the most commonly asked questions I see on the different BDSM-related email lists and discussion forums I frequent comes from submissives looking for a Dominant. Most of the time from female submissives, although I have seen male submissives asking it as well. "How do I find 'The One' for me?"

It seems that sometimes, when it finally clicks in a submissive's brain what they want, they tend to forget common sense in their pursuit of a D/s dynamic.

I've seen it dubbed "sub frenzy."

It sucks being alone. I know that, I get it. But just like in the vanilla world, relationships aren't something to be rushed into. The good and bad thing about the internet is that it allows people in various parts of the world who might never have met to come together. You can get some stuff out of the way, like learning about each other. But chatting over a computer is not the same thing as meeting in real life. Yes, I do know quite a few people who've met each other online and gone on to have successful real-life relationships. But I also have heard far more stories of online relationships ending badly.

Common sense can fly out the window in the face of bubbling hormones and throbbing...eh, body parts. But even moreso than a vanilla relationship, it's extremely important to keep a few things in mind when starting out on a fledgling BDSM relationship. If you can't be friends first, you can't have a D/s dynamic, period.

D/s (Dominant/submissive) is based first and foremost on trust. I don't know about you, but I have yet, in my life, ever been able to trust someone I can't at least be friends with. By trust I mean the kind of trust it takes to engage in BDSM activities, not trusting that the person will give you back exact change on a cup of coffee.

I always tell people find local munches, local groups. I frequently hear, "Oh, I'd be too scared to go." If you're too scared to go to a restaurant where a bunch of people are meeting, how do you ever think you're going to work up the nerve to meet someone safely and get to know them?

Fetlife.com is the best place to find local events. It's free, it's anonymous, you can pick any username you want. Heck, set up a fake email address you use only for Fetlife if it worries you that much. But instead of worrying about meeting "The One," get to know a group of people. Learn to be comfortable with who YOU are instead of focusing on trying to find someone for you.

Fine and dandy, but what if you do hook up with someone in a long distance relationship? Well, if they try to rush you to do anything, especially if it involves sending them money, do NOT do it. Period. Someone worth their salt will be patient and understand how valuable a trust bond is. Do NOT ignore red flags. Do NOT go somewhere to meet this person without an escape plan. It's preferable they come to you. (They are the Dominant, after all.) Meet for the first time over coffee, in a public place, with a separate way to get out of there. Have a safe call lined up. Better yet, take a friend with you to the meeting. (Again, any Dominant worth their salt will understand.) Even better, make friends with local kinksters in your area, and have the person come to a meeting, such as a munch, where you will have plenty of backup in case you don't like what you see.

There's a fine line between abuse and kink. Kink is always consensual. Abuse is not. If at any time you feel pressured to do something, that is a HUGE red flag you need to listen to. If you have several of your kinky friends expressing misgivings, LISTEN to them. It's not always easy for us to step back when we're in the throes of our libido and say hey, there's a problem here.

Good things come to those who can wait. This isn't just a trite cliche. In a case like this, it could mean saving yourself a huge heartache.

(Tymber Dalton is a bestselling author and lifestyle BDSM switch. Her website is http://www.tymberdalton.com )

Don't dis the kink.

"If you are going to mock me, at least get your facts straight." -- Sheldon Cooper, The Big Bang Theory (episode "The Einstein Approximation")

I want to state up front this is NOT an "author behaving badly" kind of reactionary post to a less than stellar review. I'm using this as an illustration to show how it never fails to amaze me how someone can "dis the kink" when they were the ones who didn't pay a whit of attention in the first place and probably don't know anything about it. And keep reading, because I do have a destination in mind for this rambling journey. I also know that to many of you, I'm preaching to the choir, so to speak, so thank you for indulging me.

One of my books has the following disclaimer clearly included (by my publisher) in the blurb:

Content Warning: Contains subject matter that might offend some readers—graphic language, explicit sex, mf sex, mmf ménage, mm sex, anal sex/play, sex toys, Femdom and Maledom BDSM practices, bondage, Domination/submission, Master/slave, spanking, impact play, humiliation, cuckolding, public exhibition, public sex, and piercing sarcasm.

I'd say that's pretty clear, no?

Here's a section of a reader review (and which the reviewer gave the lowest ranking available on the site):

 ...every one had certain needs that are not necessarily the "norm" in society but this just made me totally uncomfortable, threesomes OK, at little BDSM OK, role playing OK, but Master/slave, impact play and humiliation - no thanks.

Umm...okay. Sooo...why did you buy the book then? They ranked the book based on their personal prejudices, not on the quality of writing/editing or on the story. I use this illustration to make the following point, that just because someone else has a kink you don't like or agree with, as long as the participants are all consenting human adults, who cares? Would they have read the book at all had they known I was an active participant in the BDSM lifestyle?

A lot of people who participate in the lifestyle, willing participants and nice people who don't bother anyone, have to live in fear. They have to live in fear of being outed because of their family situations, jobs, school, or some other reason. This fear is driven due to people who, despite not understanding or agreeing with something, make no effort whatsoever to try to make allowances for people who have different interests than them.

That's what it boils down to, right?

What if I told you a man liked to go out every weekend, without his wife, and got together with a bunch of his friends. They got all hot and sweaty, piled on top of each other, grabbing and pulling at each other, then ended with a group naked shower.

Would that shock you?

What if I told you they were playing football.

Oh, so that's okay then?

It's the same kind of double standard some men have that two women together are hot, but two men together are an abomination against nature.

Um, WTF? Why is that? Why do some people close their brains?

What if I told you that one couple I know, who've been married for about fifty years, have also been involved in the BDSM lifestyle for almost the entire time? Obviously, they're happy doing what they're doing. They're happily married. They balance their kinky and vanilla lives. Should they be looked down upon for the fact that they have a D/s dynamic just because it's not someone else's gold standard?

Obviously, this kind of discrimination isn't unique to people who are into BDSM. The GLBT community has dealt with it forever, as have religious and racial sectors. Having to hide a part of who you are, regardless of the fact that it doesn't hurt anyone, just because of fears of how others will react.

Isn't it time that people learn to take a "live and let live" approach to life? Are we not adults?

Here's the truth of the matter: people into BDSM are no different than people who enjoy golfing every weekend, or people who enjoy going to NASCAR races, or people who build ships in bottles. They are doing something that they enjoy that's not hurting anyone. (Well, not hurting them without their permission.) It's not abuse if it's consensual. It's not sick or twisted or demented, any moreso than spending thousands of dollars collecting Beanie Babies or basket weaving supplies.

There are people out there into some kinks that are definitely NOT my own kinks. But that's okay, because I don't have to choose to play with them or even associate myself with them. No biggie. How they practice their kink in no way impacts my life anymore than some duffer hitting the links every Saturday at holy-crap-thirty in the morning. It doesn't make them less able to do their job. It doesn't make them bad parents or horrible people.

It just makes them different than me. Just like I'm different than you, and you're different than someone else.

Did you know in some countries, women can be beaten (or worse) for driving? They can be killed for leaving their houses if they aren't covered head to toe in fabric.

So isn't it kind of silly to look down on people who willingly participate in something that makes them happy? Especially if you don't even have all the facts straight about what you're judging them for? Maybe if everyone felt free to pursue their happiness without worrying about someone judging them, perhaps the world would be a happier place.

Something to think about.

How many "flavors" of kink?

"I don't care if someone likes being dressed up like a refrigerator while a midget blows them and shoves bananas in their ass, as long as it makes them happy." - Mr. B.

The above quote is from my Sir. (Yes, I warned Him I'd be using it for a book at some point in time. LOL And no, you cannot use it. LOL) The context in which it was uttered was during a discussion the two of us were having about different kinks, preconceived notions, and the impact revelations could have on another person in a D/s relationship. It was triggered by a blog post I'd read, where the woman talked about something she and her Master hadn't done, but he'd once talked about doing. Then, when she'd sort of gotten in her head that while she wouldn't like doing the actual act, it was the act of doing it FOR him she'd like, he admitted in another conversation that one of her fears was valid, he might think less of her for doing it, hence he didn't want to actually DO it to her.

Did that make sense?

So I'd pointed out the blog in question to Sir, and the dialog that ensued between us was His reassurances that no matter what it was I wanted to do, as long as it was relatively safe and consensual (we've already tossed sane and totally safe out the window LOL) He would never think less of me for wanting to do it. And likewise, I know I would never think less of Him for wanting to do things. We both might come up with things we want to do that, for lack of time, money, equipment, or other resources, can't be done, or are just strictly fantasy ideas that we don't want to do in reality (but make for really hot scene discussions). Regardless, we have the respect and caring for each other that it's okay to be totally open and honest.

So having explained all that so you understand where the refrigerator comment is coming from, I use it to illustrate that just because YKINMK (Your Kink Is Not My Kink) doesn't mean there's anything "wrong" with it (as long as all the participants are consenting human adults).

Another seed this blog post sprouted from was a question from a fellow writer (who is involved in the lifestyle) asked on a board I'm on about reviewing a BDSM book that really didn't have BDSM in it, and what it did have...let's just say it was sloppy work on the part of the author of that book, because it was obvious they were neither involved in the lifestyle, nor did they do adequate research. And the author apparently took offense to a fair and not at all bad review, all things considered. (Authors behaving badly in response to reviews is a whoooooole 'nother blog topic I won't deal with today.) So the reviewer was asking how to handle the situation.

I know that a lot of readers--and this is NOT a slam--who read BDSM books aren't in the lifestyle. What they know of the lifestyle is mostly coming from what they read in fiction, or what they see on the internet. But let's face it, while I might be fascinated by a slice-of-life piece about a D/s couple who are 24/7 and not into sadism of any kind, someone not in the lifestyle who expects whips and chains and multiple forced orgasms might read it and not understand that "flavor" of non-vanilla.

I know, yes, in real life, people in the lifestyle who are on the mild end of the scale. To them, it's about the power exchange dynamic, it only happens in the bedroom, and it's about the sex. That's fine. Nothing wrong with that. I also know people, literally, in 24/7 relationships, where it's not just about the power exchange, but about sadism. That's fine, too. I know people who like to go to play parties and get beaten, and not be "Dominated." That's a valid kink. There is no "won twue way."

The basis of BDSM, regardless of what flavor it takes, is the trust bond between the participants. How deep this trust bond goes can range from, "I trust that when I get done beating you tonight, you won't be a douche tomorrow and call the cops," all the way to, "I trust that when you bind me and put me in those restraints and gag me and use a sharp knife on me, that you will neither harm me in a way that is beyond my limits, nor will you ignore me if I safeword and want to end the scene." So, in other words, the trust bond ranges from a handshake agreement all the way to, literally, trusting your health, life, and well-being to another person.

A lot of people think BDSM is all about sex, and while yes, sex is an important aspect for some participants, it's not the only aspect, or even the primary aspect to some people. I know people in the lifestyle who will to bottom to someone at a party, and no sexual contact will happen between the participants at all. I know some people who will play at a party and they get tied up and forced to orgasm, with no impact play. Again, there are wide varieties of flavors in this pornocopia of play. (Yes, that was on purpose.)

So to bring this around full circle, my point is that if you want to be involved in the lifestyle, be open. Be honest. And be non-judgmental. You don't have to like someone else's kink (again, I'm working on the consenting human adults premise). If you don't like it, you don't have to do it. But remember that just because you have an idea of what BDSM "should" be doesn't mean you know it all. (Especially if you aren't involved in the lifestyle.) I also know from personal experience, and from hearing it from other people, there are plenty of people out there scared to admit their true desires for fear of how their partner will react. For instance, how many times have you heard about straight guys who secretly desire anal play, but they're afraid that will "make them gay" or freak out their partner? Got a news flash for you, it's not unnatural, or else our bodies wouldn't be made to positively respond to the stimulus. Get over it, dudes. So you like your back door played with. Have at it, and don't deny yourself. You might be surprised to find your lady enjoys putting on a strap-on and reaming you out (while envisioning all the times you forgot to put your dirty clothes in the hamper).

If you're in a relationship, there should be a "safe place" provision, if nothing else, a designated time to say, "Okay, look, we can talk about these things, and some of them we might want to try, some of them we might not, and some of them might be left forever in the fantasy realm. But I won't think less of you for talking about it."

Because in all honesty, if you can't trust someone enough to TALK about stuff, how can you trust them with the important stuff?

And if they want a banana shoved up their ass, then I say by all means, go for it. Just don't forget to use a firm one and put a towel down first. And use loooots of lube. :)

(Tymber Dalton is a BDSM lifestyle switch and bestselling author. You can read more about her, including her latest releases, on her website at http://www.tymberdalton.com)

Wicked Wednesday: Negotiation Scene in Nobody's Angel

Welcome to another Wicked Wednesday with an exclusive excerpt from debut author Kallypso Masters, who shares a glimpse into how she works the art of negotiation into her more realistic BDSM romances.

 
One of the most important tools in a BDSM couple's repertoire--and sometimes the sexiest--is the art of negotiation. Maybe that's because the hottest sex organ is the brain, but it's not easy for everyone to talk about sex, fantasies, wants, needs, desires, limits--especially when they think their fantasies are a bit kinkier than their partner will accept or will want to try.

Listening without judging is a great way to encourage a partner to discuss what she or he wants to try. A little humor (if you aren't laughing AT someone, but just teasing a bit to coax more out of them) can help, as well. 

The Wikipedia entry on "Negotiation" states:

In the BDSM community, negotiation is a form of communication where participants make arrangements on each others' requirements, responsibilities, and limits to find the best possible agreement.

Activity within BDSM relationships requires trust, openness about most practices that may include risks. On the other hand, partners have certain needs which should be clearly defined in order to be properly satisfied. In this regard, negotiation is essential part not only when parties were not familiar with each other but also in case when partners have long-term relationships. [Much more information at this site on Negotiation.]

I love writing negotiation scenes in my BDSM erotic romances more than the sex scenes sometimes (even though I am told I write really hot, tender sex scenes, as well). But I'm all about writing the emotions of the relationship and sometimes it's much harder to bare your innermost needs and desires than it is to bare your body. (In fact, the scene excerpted below takes place several orgasms into the story Nobody's Angel. You see, negotiation doesn't end with one or two conversations at the beginning of the relationship or scene. It's also good to talk about the scene afterward to determine what worked, didn't work, and how the couple might want to try things the next time.) 

When a couple (or multiples) bring humor to the bedroom (or wherever they happen to be having their negotiations), it's just the cherry on top, in my opinion. I'm fascinated listening in on these conversations and seeing how they begin to get to know each other, find out what excites them about each other, learn what they'd like to try--or not try--sexually, and so on. 

Excerpt Setup: Sweet, overprotected Angelina has had a bad experience with BDSM where her trust was shattered and her safe word ignored, so Marc D'Alessio, at whose BDSM club the incident occurred, is trying to show her she shouldn't ignore her sexually submissive side. She just needs to find a responsible Dom who will earn her trust and treat her as she should have been treated. (Of course, he isn't interested in anything long-time. This is the former "Master Marco," after all, who looks at women as being laid out on his own private smorgasbord.) But for this one night, he has agreed to be Angelina's Dom to show her how BDSM can be with the right Dom/Top.

In this scene, Angelina reveals both a hard limit, as well as something she would like to experience that she witnessed at the Masters at Arms club before her abusive Dom shattered her trust and killed her fledgling interest in BDSM. As it turns out, Marc, her Dom for the night, is very happy to hear that's a limit, one he shares (even though he's still in denial about their relationship going beyond this night). She does not know that Marc was the Dungeon Monitor Supervisor who rescued her at the club or that he co-owners the club.

Excerpt from a Negotiation Scene from
Nobody's Angel (Rescue Me, Book #2)

Angelina’s heart thudded against her chest. What had possessed her to tell him something like that?

“Oh, cara. I can’t tell you how sorry I am that happened to you.” He held her tightly, placing his chin on the top of her head and enveloping her in his strength and warmth.

“Let’s put that fantasy and bad memory on the back burner for now. Tell me about another fantasy. One you haven’t experienced yet. Perhaps something you’ve read about…or even seen.”

“Um, there was this one time when…I was at a private club in Denver.”

“What kind of private club?”

Oh, she didn’t want to admit she’d gone to a kink club. “Um, one where adults…couples mostly…do...things to each other.”

“Just what kinds of things do they do?” She could have sworn by his voice he was smiling, but didn’t want to pull away from his comforting arms to confirm her suspicions. Just what did he find so funny?

She sighed. “Well, pretty much anything you can imagine.”

“I can imagine a lot, pet.”

Oh, damn it all, apparently the man had never been inside one before. He was going to think she was a slut, but obviously, she was going to have to tell him now. He was like a dog with a bone. “Promise you won’t think badly of me?”

“It’s rather difficult for me to promise when I don’t know what you’ve done yet.”

Well, what did she expect, unconditional love from a near stranger? One who happened to be cuddling her on his lap on the edge of her bed? Oh, Nonna. I hope you aren’t watching! Angelina decided to just spit it out.

“I…We were…in a kink club.” She held her breath and steeled herself.

“Ahhh, I see. What was it like?”

He certainly didn’t seem to be judging her. But he wanted her to talk about it? Oh, God. This just got worse and worse on the embarrassment scale.

“I didn’t see much.”

She realized she’d unbuttoned his shirt and her fingers played idly with the springy chest hairs in the vee of his shirt. She didn’t want him to think she’d gone to a sleazy one, though. “It seemed like a nice place. Karla, she was the club’s singer, was very kind to me after…well, later. She brought me home. And the club’s owner, Master Adam, was very nice, too.”

His hand stopped stroking her hair. “Were there any other nice people you met there?”

“No. Mostly I just watched.”

After a moment, his hand began stroking her again, but she felt tenseness in his body. Maybe he was judging her.

“What did you see?”

“There were several couples in the great room who were engaging in different…activities.”

“Which activities interested you?”

Her mind returned to the main room of the club where one of the Doms had caught her attention while Allen was filling out guest papers on her. The Dom wore a Harley-Davidson jacket with the tail of a dragon tattoo curled around his bicep, the rest of the mythical creature disappearing under the vest. Very lethal looking—both the dragon and the man, who held a coiled whip against his leather-clad thigh.

“There was a Dom with a whip.” She felt Marc’s body tense even more, but wasn’t sure if it was the mention of the Dom or the whip that bothered him. Well, he asked, so she was going to tell him what she liked. “Kneeling before him was a blonde woman who looked up at him adoringly, waiting for him to do…well, whatever he wanted to do, I suppose.” The man had a whip, for Christ’s sake!

“Did the whip excite you?”

She pulled out of his arms, bumping his chin against her head in her haste to get away, but she wasn’t going to let him get the notion she was into whips. “God, no! Don’t even go there!”

He relaxed visibly and smiled. “Duly noted, gattina.”

Angelina felt the tension leave her, as well, and took a deep breath, releasing it slowly. He seemed as relieved as she was, although she had no idea why.

“So, tell me what it was about the Dom/sub that interested you so much.”

She blushed. It was pretty lame as far as fantasies went, but she’d been so turned on by the two. “He put his middle finger deep into her mouth and, with the other fingers and the thumb of his hand, he…I guess you’d say caged her chin, forcing her mouth open.” Angelina felt herself getting wet just remembering. She shrugged and smiled.

“Do you know what it was about the scene that excited you?”

She shook her head. “I’m not sure. It just did.”

She lowered her gaze to his bare chest where her fingers were buried in the light sprinkling of his black chest hairs. She liked touching him. He waited, expecting more of an answer, she supposed.

“The woman’s expression was…well, she looked up at him with such, I don’t know the word—adoration maybe? Devotion? Trust?” She swallowed. “Or maybe it was the way he took control of her mouth like that. Of her.” She shivered. “I don’t know, but it blew me away.”

Marc’s gaze went to her mouth and Angelina’s clit throbbed in response as if he’d taken control of her mouth the way the tatted Dom had done with the blonde at the club. She squirmed on his lap. Her gaze locked on his mouth. She wanted him to kiss her again, only rougher than he’d kissed her last night.

 

Kallypso Masters' first two books in the Rescue Me series are available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Smashwords, All Romance e-Books, Kobo, and coming soon to BookStrand. You can find Kally online at:

Blog: http://kallypsomasters.blogspot.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kallypsomasters

Twitter: https://twitter.com/#!/kallypsomasters

Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/5130089.Kallypso_Masters

E-mail: kallypsomasters@gmail.com