Wednesday, July 18, 2012

BDSM- it doesn't have to be serious all the time


Welcome to another day in the BDSM Authors Playroom Blog Hop! I hope you're having as much fun as we are! Today I'm here to talk about a subject that doesn't seem to get much play (heh) in the BDSM community--even though we ALWAYS recommend your play is safe, sane, and consensual, that doesn't mean it always has to be serious. You can have fun with BDSM.

What do I mean? Well, let's think about this...

One thing I want to make clear before I start. I am not making fun of anyone else's choices. What gets you revved up is your business and nobody else's.

With that out of the way...let's start with puppy and pony play. There are many people who take this very seriously, and some who use it for punishment, but many lifestylers do it because a person dressed up like a puppy or a pony is kinda cute and fun.

Then there are the "fun" spankings and other "reward" things. There are impression paddles that say "ouch" and panties that say "spank me". How about the feather ticklers Doms can use to torture ticklish subs? Or the Wartenburg wheel? You can also make a chocolate impression of a penis with a handy kit.

The point is...yes, BDSM should be taken seriously to make sure all parties are safe. But that doesn't mean you can't have a little--or a lot--of fun!

~~~

To further illustrate this point, here's a short excerpt from my holiday BDSM novella, Caught. Yes, as you can see below, you CAN marry the themes of the holidays and BDSM!

Sir came back into the room carrying a big pile of stuff and set it all down on the edge of the bed. Callie started to look down, but Sir said, “Uh-uh, eyes up.” Dutifully she raised her gaze until she was staring at the ceiling. Her arms were still above her head, and she heard him chuckle. “My perfect little submissive, already in position to be restrained.” Glancing at the headboard, she frowned. The leather wasn’t exactly conducive to bondage. “Don’t you worry, pet. I’ve got a plan.”

He began to unravel something from a package, but Callie couldn’t tell what it was, though it sounded kind of crinkly. He came to the head of the bed, and she saw he was holding a long length of gold garland. “Hands.” Eyebrow raised, she offered him her hands, and he tied them together. Sir went into the attached bath and came back with a towel, which he placed underneath her. Her eyebrow rose again, but Sir just gave her an enigmatic smile and left the room.

“Now where did he go?” she muttered.

Callie jumped when Sir answered. “Forgot something in the playroom.” He grinned down at her. “Didn’t hear me coming, did you?” He held up a contraption. “Spread those lovely thighs for me, baby.” She did, and he attached a leather cuff at about midthigh. A small spreader bar stretched between them. He ran the garland through the D bolts on each cuff, which basically formed a triangle of garland going from her hands to her legs. “Hmmm, that’s going to be too much pressure on your poor wrists,” he murmured. “Aha! An idea…” Sir left the room again, and Callie shook her head in amusement. She’d never seen this side of him—he was like a kid in a candy store.


~~~
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Enter P

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Getting my Domme On



People often ask me why I’m a sub and how I came to that realization. I find it hard to answer because, as with many people in alternate lifestyles, it’s just something I knew from a young age. I don’t want to go into nature/nurture debates or discussions about influences from my past affecting my desire to submit. Those things may or may not play a part, but for me submission is something I desire, need and love. It’s at the core of my being, an inherent part of who I am and I embrace it. Still, there were times when I use to wonder what it would be like on the other side of the spanking bench. I eventually got my answer and it confirmed one thing. Despite being able to look the part and act the part if I need to, getting my Domme on is not something I enjoy.

Around eight years ago a male submissive friend and I both went through a divorce at the same time. We spent many nights crying on each others shoulders, drinking, chatting and generally doing the things a jilted lover does when getting over a breakup…you know the sort of thing…bitching about our ex’s and plotting revenge.

After a little while it became clear that Lee (his name has been changed to protect the guilty), wasn’t handling not being disciplined on a regular basis. He’d tell me how bad he’d been, point out examples of his neglect to clean his apartment and numerous other tasks he’d been responsible for that, in the past, if neglected, saw him punished by his Mistress. In an attempt to help Lee out I eventually agreed to try and get in touch with my inner Domme.

I started out slow. Lee loved being berated, called names and generally being told he was a very, very, bad boy. So that seemed the easiest thing to do for him while he helped me learn how to use the cane and a few other impact toys he liked. I did things like demanding he clean his filthy bathroom before I use it. It wasn’t filthy but he didn’t seem to care that I told him it was. The first time I said it I watch his eyes light up with excitement, and I’ve never seen a man move so quickly to grab cleaning products, get on his knees and begin scrubbing a toilet. Come to think of it, I’d never seen a man clean a toilet until Lee did it. I’d also never heard anyone moan in ecstasy as they did housework and finish the job with an erection pushing at the front of their shorts before.
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My idea of this being the easiest thing to do for him turned out not to be true. I had to force myself to, in my mind, be nasty to him. To treat him like he was not up to par with the things he did. I wanted to say things like “let me help you,” and “I’m sorry I made a mistake, the bathroom’s not dirty, and you take care of the place wonderfully.” Of course that wasn’t going to help him. He wanted the demeaning criticism, so I did it, and felt like a bitch every time I did.

I reached a point where I knew I was as confident with the cane as I’d ever get and, as Lee kept telling me, there’s no better way to learn than practice on the real thing. So dressed in short black skirt, thigh high stockings, heels high enough to break my neck if I tripped over, a tight white shirt and fitted black blazer I walked down the drive to Lee’s apartment for our first ‘real’ play session. We both had catholic school backgrounds and Lee freely admitted that he liked being a naughty school boy, punished for his bad behavior by a domineering head mistress. We’d prearranged the session. One evening, on a night of my choosing I was to text him and say, ‘You’ve been a bad boy today. Stay in class until I get there.’ He would then set up the equipment and sit quietly waiting for me to arrive at his place.  I checked my hair, the bun was still firmly in place and I straightened my glasses as I opened the door. Lee sat near an old fashioned school desk, the cane and his much loved authentic catholic school spanking paddle lay across the front of the desk. There was a larger adult sized chair in front of the school desk which sat next to a large chalkboard on an easel. 

I took a deep breath. I could do this, Lee needed this, he was a friend and I was helping him. The fact I was so nervous that I trembled needed to be ignored. My mind raced and all I really wanted to do was sit next to him at the desk, dressed in my naughty school girl uniform and have someone else do the disciplining. It wasn’t going to happen because the disciplinarian for the night was me. Shit, where was my inner Domme.

After a severe verbal chastising, while Lee wrote on the chalk board twenty five times ‘I must not play with my penis unless commanded to do so by my Mistress’, the corporal punishment began. Lee bared his ass and lay across my lap for his paddling, then received his caning while bent over the school desk and finally received four strikes of the cane to his hands for messy writing on the chalk board. I was tentative at first, I kept checking in to make sure he was ok, his request to go harder with the corporal punishment made me more nervous than I already was. As the welts and marks began to appear on his flamed red ass, I had to force myself to continue with the scene. Once we finished Lee was all praise and appeared genuinely surprised when I burst into tears.

The whole thing had been a huge learning experience. I loved the scene set up but, in the role of Mistress, I knew I was on the wrong side of the desk. The sound of the cane and paddle against flesh made me tingle, but I wanted to feel the sting, not just hear the whoosh and smack. I loved the look of the marks on his ass but I wanted them on mine. I understood the euphoric release Lee so clearly experienced but I hated inflicting pain on my friend in order for him to experience that.

Throughout the scene I kept trying to get in touch with my inner Domme, sure that she was there somewhere and just needed the right set of circumstances to step up to the plate. That wasn’t the case because, as a result of helping Lee out, I realized a very important thing. I don’t have an inner Domme.

I am a submissive, and I’m proud to admit it.   


Excerpt from Playing Jax – An example of why subs not trained in using impact toys should be wary of offering to help a friend.

 “Damn it, Angel, just cane me so I can see if I like it.” Rhia thrust a cane into Angel’s hand and bent over the large vault where Meg was once again sitting. “Here, hold my hands in case it hurts.”
“I expect it will hurt. Not that you’ll feel it properly through those jeans. The denim will dull the blow. You need to take your jeans off,” Meg instructed.
“She’s right, but it’s better to leave them on, so I don’t mark you,” Angel advised.
Rhia stared between the two women as they discussed the pros and cons of denim or no denim. She made the decision for herself and for them.
“We’ll compromise. Jeans off, panties on.” Rhia lowered her jeans so they rested at her thighs and once again positioned herself holding onto her sister’s hand.
Angel moved behind her. Rhia braced herself only to feel a few light taps of the cane against her bottom. “Don’t just pat me, Angel. Let me have it, don’t hold back.”
She braced herself for the hit.
“Daniel always does this tapping before he canes me. It builds my anticipation and gets me all horny,” Angel stated.
“Well, the only thing it’s building in me is annoyance. Now cane me, darn it.”
Rhia fell to her knees, pulling Meg forward on the bench and nearly toppling her off. It was lucky that the rooms were soundproof because the scream that exploded from Rhia’s mouth was so loud Meg and Angel reached to cover their ears. Tears ran down Rhia’s face and she gasped for breath. How did a scream that loud come out of her when she had no air left in her lungs?
“Oh God, I’m so sorry, but you said don’t hold back.” Angel was next to her. Rhia had seen her drop the cane on the ground as she’d crumbled to the floor. “Let me see if there’s a mark.”
Rhia rolled over and eased her panties down so the two women could inspect her cheek. Their combined gasps told her she had a mark. Her sister’s actions confirmed it was a bad one.
“Shit, I’ll go get ice.” Meg ran from the room.
“What’s it look like?” She nearly didn’t want to ask, but curiosity had gotten the better of her. “Well, there’s a welt about an inch wide, no wait…it’s getting wider. It’s bright red, and it’s darkening around the edges, so you’ll have a bruise. No, wait…you have a bruise, and it will probably get a lot darker.” Angel gently touched the mark on Rhia’s ass, causing Rhia to flinch. Who knew Angel could hit so hard?
To make matters worse, Meg came bursting back into the room, followed by the Incredible Hulk. He insisted on inspecting the injury. The embarrassment of having a stranger look at her bare bottom was almost too much to bear. He didn’t touch her, thank goodness but when the flash went off, she almost wanted to cry. The pain was nothing compared to the humiliation she experienced. She had to leave her name and other details, as did Angel in case there were repercussions for the club.
She lay on the floor pressing the bag of ice onto her left cheek. If Angel could hit that hard, imagine what Steve would do. It wasn’t the least bit arousing, not like when Steve pinched her nipples. Maybe Angel hadn’t done it correctly.

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Monday, July 16, 2012

BDSM Unleashed Blog Hop-Writing Bad Bad Doms by Bianca Sommerland

The Playroom

Welcome to another day of the BDSM Unleashed Blog hop! Since all the post here will be about BDSM—either living it, or writing it—I chose a topic that I find fascinating. Which is Bad Doms. Why? Well, because the men we are warned about in real life, the ones we wouldn't let come close enough to kiss, never mind the with blindfolds and ropes and whips, can make some of the best heroes. The fantasy of the bad boy who is really bad, who we should stay away from because he's so so dangerous, is such a delicious one because we can live out the thrill in the pages of a book without the wrist of a broken heart. Or bruises.

To me, striking a balance with the Bad Dom is very important. If he beats his sub mercilessly just to watch her bleed, just to show he's bigger and stronger, then he is not a Dom. He's an abuser. However, there are clever ways to have a bad Dom in a dub-con scenario without making him into a monster. His motives will help decide that and his actions may redeems him. If he has a tender moment with the heroine after he's bound her, kicking and screaming, to his bed, then you may feel the connection. If he spanks her and checks to make sure she's okay—well, you may start to forget he's holding her hostage or that he's bought her to be his slave. When he kisses her you sigh as though it's the most romantic thing in the world.


Even though it's wrong.
 

In my own writing, the best example of this kind of Dom is probably Vince from Deadly Captive: Collateral Damage. I would say Cyrus, but I don't think he can be considered a Dom by any stretch of the imagination—he's just a sexy sadistic sociopath! <g> However, Vince has several dominant characteristics, a need to teach, to discipline, to control. Unlike Cyrus, Vince takes the needs of his sub into consideration, so even though she is a captive and doesn't get to use safewords, she's being well taken care of. 


Here's a small excerpt from Collateral Damage to give you a taste of what I mean. Nicole has been captured and used roughly, but not by Vince. He's still one of the bad guys, but there's something very different about him:

"You've been treated well."


My brow shot up. "Have I? Well, I guess I'm being over sensitive. I kinda take basic liberties for granted. What can you do?"
 

He stood and set down his cup. "I don't appreciate sarcasm."
I took another sip and smiled. Guess he wasn't as infallible as he pretended to be. 


"Well, I don't appreciate being kidnapped and raped. But we don't always get what we want."

"No, I suppose we don't." He traced the open collar of his black, silk shirt, revealing just the top of a very hard, very well-defined chest. Muscles curved in smooth slopes jumped, as though my gaze was a physical touch. He chuckled, and I looked up to see him watching me. "You want to hate me."

"I do hate you." I shrugged at his doubtful expression. "You're just easy on the eyes. Which I'm sure you know."

"Really." Without a twitch of warning, he closed the distance between us and took my cup. "Shall I prove you wrong?"

I skirted away from him, ducking and skidding from the bed. I might have been prepared to let him do what he would last night, but this morning I couldn't. I wouldn't. Not without a fight.

"Relax. I won't hurt you." He placed the mug on the table and then strode across the room. I swung at him, and he caught my wrists. "Don't force me to tie you up."

"Don'tdon'tdon't." I whimpered as he wrapped his arms around me. Tears streaked my cheeks, gathered on my lips, hot and salty. I flattened my hands on his chest and dug my nails into his skin. "Vince . . . ."

"Shh." He pressed his lips to the top of my head and then bent down to whisper against my lips. "I want to show you something."
 
~~~
Don't forget to go fill out the BDSM Unleashed Grand Prize Entry form below and leave a comment for your chance to win one of THREE great prizes, the first prize being a $100 gift card to the online bookstore of your choice! For even more chances to win, the list of participating blogs is HERE

GOOD LUCK!

To learn more about Bianca and her books, visit: www.Im-No-Angel.com



Enter P

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Writing Doms



by Cari Silverwood

Well, there you have it – writing AND Doms. Which means fiction. So now you have to decide if you want to appeal to your readers or not…you do? Right. That makes it easier. Doms are just men, of course. Which means IRL they can have just as many daft ideas as any man, or woman. They aren’t perfect, they do lie, they get gas, had acne when they were teenagers, and I’ll bet half of them have left a trail of unhappy women behind them.

But, but buuut, I hear some of you wail, that’s not like my hero Dom. For sure, but fiction is fiction.  Does that mean there are no wonderful men out there in real life who make wonderful Doms? Heck, of course there are. But they still have flaws. They are at their core, simply men who like being in control, sometimes that’s mostly in the bedroom, sometimes not.

But what do you put in your book? You, the author, gets to decide that. When you make any character in a story, you get to throw into the mix what you think you need. When writing a Dom, you just have to make sure they can still be the ideal partner for your heroine if they are the ‘hero’. We need to learn to love our partners, flaws and all. In fact in a story, it can make for so much more tension if you have those flaws to work around and perhaps even cause that black moment.

So what is it that distinguishes a Dom from another alpha male then? Not a lot, in my opinion. Like a lot of human ‘things’ or labels there is a sliding scale. Given sufficient permission by their women, a lot of alpha men would slip into Dom mode.

Certain ingredients will give you a bonafide Dom for your story. A need for control, a positive reveling in the sight of a submissive kneeling and doing as they are told. They will listen to your desires, your needs, the things that turn you on, and then they’ll take those wants of yours and crank up the tension. Safewords are for when the Dom goes just that little too far. But most of the time the submissive revels in obeying because it’s all part of the power exchange.

If you give an average alpha man instructions on what you want to happen beforehand, they may do these things to turn you on. With a Dom, expect that to go a little beyond, or to take a right angle turn into foreign territory. A Dom will like to push you. If they’re sadistic, they like to hear you squeal as well as moan. If they are simply into dominance, they like to see you not just on your knees, but licking your way up their leg to their cock. They want you on the bed with your legs spread, waiting.

An alpha will pin you against a wall and kiss you until you’re breathless. A Dom will step away and tell you to face the wall, clasp your hands together, put your arms above your head and stay there while they undo their trousers. Or maybe you’ll get to undo the zip with your teeth.

If you go too far, if your ‘Dom’ does something really wrong, like ignoring a safeword, or ignoring the feelings of his submissive, you end up with an asshole bully instead. In real life, maybe they can redeem themselves, like the Dom who insisted his submissive kneel despite knee surgery that made it agonizing for her…maybe he redeemed himself. Unlikely though.

So take care how far they go in that story. Make them human beings above all. They can be sexy controlling bastards who give your heroine a million orgasms, but always make them human.
Here’s Leonhardt from my novel, Rough Surrender, showing his Dom side.

                                                                       
The gold cords weighed heavily on her fingers as she went back into the bathroom. Mr. Meisner sat on the chair like a judge waiting for his next case...her. What was he planning? She could tell he meant to unsettle her. Well, no one had ever called her a pushover. She set her jaw.

“Here, Faith.” He held out his hand.

She gave him the cords and saw how he unraveled them while judging her reaction. It was amazing how quickly her pussy heated. All those words for her anatomy, and she sure remembered them. Cunt, cunny, cleft, vagina...dark and dirty, and my, oh, my, she liked this whole thing. Except, maybe, when he went careering off course, like now.

“Your wrist, love.”

Blinking, sure she teetered on a precipice and this dad-blasted man intended to give her a right good shove, she gave him her wrist. He urged her around until she faced away from him then took her other wrist too. Again, with the tying of her hands at her back, and she closed her eyes to savor the odd, yet delicious, want in her for handing him control. Her clitoris swelled, as if it had a mind of its own. She couldn’t help taking a deep breath at the surge of pleasure, at the scattered tingle as places woke and longed for more of his touch.

“Good,” he said, and his hand curved over her bottom, appreciating every inch, or so it seemed. She swayed, and let her tongue tip venture out onto her lip when his hand went between her legs and stayed there, like it belonged in just that place, like he had a right to be there. Oh. Yes.

“Wet,” he murmured. “Now you can kneel.”

With a hand on her elbow to steady her, Mr. Meisner helped her kneel on the towel. Standing over her with his cock an inch away, he carefully twined her hair round and round and anchored his hand within. So firm she might have been in a vice, and with her hands behind her he could do what he wished.

“How does that feel, Faith?” he asked quietly.

She looked up at him and sank into those brown eyes, floating away with the sensation of being dominated. Her tongue and brain were miles from each other. Words and thoughts mired, and tangled. A reply would spoil the moment. She shook her head as much as his grip allowed her to.

“That’s better. Lovely.” He bent down and kissed her long enough to send everything spinning. When he raised himself again, her lips were bruised and her heartbeat erratic.

“I’m going to put my cock in your mouth. Use lips, not teeth. See if you can take it all in, after a while. When I come, you’ll get a mouthful. So don’t be surprised.”

His hand held her even firmer as the head of his cock found her mouth. She opened wide then watched as it glided between her lips. She felt the strange soft, hardness poke along her tongue and then withdraw. A taste like skin, but deeper, richer.

Shutting her eyes let her feel more. She was pleasuring him the same as he’d done to her. His flesh pushed in, invaded her mouth, withdrew.

“Use your tongue,” he murmured. At the huskiness in his voice she risked a glance at his face. Mr. Meisner had a look of utter concentration. She curled her tongue and swirled all along the length as his cock cruised past. In, suck, swirl, out... He drew a long, sibilant breath and sped up the thrusts into her mouth. She twisted her hands in the cord. When she relaxed her throat, he grunted and his hands tightened in her hair. 

Yes, she could do this.

He pulled out and tilted up her head.

What now? She looked back at him while licking the taste off her lips. He chuckled, then bent down, picked her up and slung her over his shoulder. With hands tied behind her and head downward at his back, she could only wriggle.

“Mr. Meisner! Put me down.” She hissed the words through her teeth.

“Don’t move!” he smacked her once on the bottom. The sting shot through her.

“Ow!” But she stilled--landing headfirst on the floor because he’d dropped her seemed unwise. Besides, that smack had hurt.

Four or five strides and he plonked her onto the bed. More pillows were sorted, only this time he set her up with her head down and nearly dangling off the bed.

“I figured we needed you a bit more distracted, my dear. Open your mouth.”

Damnation, what was it this time? She scowled up at him but he inserted his cock into her mouth again. Only this time she felt his hand slipping along her cleft. The way he skated his fingers up and down while he pushed in and out of her mouth made her forget precisely where her tongue was, and soon, altogether which bit was anywhere, except she needed to moan and suck at the same time.

She arched her mound at his mouth or whatever part of him played wet games down there. He was inside her mouth and her pussy at the same time. As his cock forced its way in, so did fingers and tongue. She gasped around him and hummed, tried to spread her legs, clenched and tried to free her hands from where they lay under her back, and couldn’t. The throbbing heat, the slip and juicy slide almost undid her. She tensed, bowing upward as much as she could. With one last thrust, Mr. Meisner stopped with his cock as deep as it would go.

And here’s a little excerpt from Steel Dominance that is on the last few days of rewrites before it goes to my publisher.

Her voice trailed off. “Not…not here…” She pushed at his shoulders only to have him whip his other hand from behind her back, catch both her wrists and hold them to the wall above her head.

“Yes. Here.” Then he watched her as carefully as a bug collector observing a strange new butterfly while he wormed his hand between them and pushed a finger inside her.

Though she’d never seen anyone in this secluded place the possibility was there, and that both horrified and excited her. How perverted am I? No one normal would want this. But her breaths came faster and wetness cascaded from her slit with each in and out slide of his digit. Slowly waves of need stirred—making her shudder. Knowledge thumped into her—he held her pinned, helpless, with her legs spread by his.

She tried again to move her hands, but they might have been cemented there.

It seemed right to protest. “Let me go!”

Dankyo stepped away until her legs slipped from his thighs and she stood straining on tiptoe with her arms above.

“Let you go? Those words again? You know where we are, now. How it is.” Dark amusement colored his voice.  He pulled his finger from her and played with her clit, circling it as if it were a new toy. “Those words don’t work, Sofia. I have your yes. Until you take that away, you are mine. So I can do this.” He added a finger and thrust two of them up into her. “Or this.” The third joined them, sliding, finding its way between her swollen labia, stretching her vagina in an exquisite way.

Her mouth fell open in a gasp.

Without conscious thought, her hips tilted, as if she begged for more.

But I am begging. I want…

Another thrust went straight in full depth until the knuckle of his unburied finger touched her lips and his thumb bumped her clit. Then his hand beneath her shoved her a whole inch up the wall.

“Uh!” She shut her eyes.

She moaned and let herself dangle there, supported by his hand between her legs, her toenails barely scraping the ground. Him fucking her while he observed, and while he knew she was a heartbeat from saying no, made her want this even more.

“That’s…beautiful.” The male baritone depth made her jerk her eyes open.

His eyes narrowed. A smile grew as he surveyed her from her face to her breasts and then downward to where his gaze lingered at the split of her legs where he’d speared inside. More liquid spilled from her over his hand.

“Move,” she croaked, then panted some more, and did a little wiggle as she tested the iron grip on her wrists. Her walls clamped down on the hardness of his fingers.

Dankyo chuckled. “Move?” Then he came closer, covering her struggling body with his. “Be quiet.” As if to punctuate his command, he clamped his teeth on her ear lobe. The sting shocked her into stillness. “You don’t get a say in what I do. Not at all.”
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